what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
