I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
