pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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