1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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