Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Randomize
