Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
