I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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