..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
