Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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