So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
