i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
