i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
