This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize
