Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
