it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
