after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
