i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
