My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize