What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I smell stomach acid.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Randomize
