So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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