operation have a gay friend backfired
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
