i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
