i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
