with your own penis?
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
