No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
