I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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