I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
