you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
