theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Randomize
