I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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