what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
