I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
