Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
