Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
