i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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