your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
