The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
