I'm gonna have a badass scar
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize