we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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