Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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