he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I said "one day" and that day is not today
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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