I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
