Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(410): View more from Maryland

apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

happy early fathers day!!!

(829): View more from Dominican Rep

im not a father

(843): View more from South Carolina

about that...

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(513): View more from Ohio

Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.

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(585): View more from New York

She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.

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(713): View more from Texas

I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.

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(586): View more from Michigan

In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?

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(450): View more from Quebec

I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol

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