Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
