PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
