I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
just come out here and I will go home with you...
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
