i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
