You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
50% drunk capacity currently
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
