Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
