i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
