i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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