It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
