Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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