You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
