I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
there was a trapeze. enough said
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
