I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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