so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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