hell yes lets make some ravioli
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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